When The Music Play

When The Music Play

When you indulge in a fantasy that it changes your perspective of a particular subject. The dream you have seen for years own your body, your brain and even your soul and the worst part is no matter how hard you try to wake up you can’t. My body was awake this morning but my brain was still dancing to the beats of the dream that I was hoping to be true May be someday. The dream that I wished to live years back but now it lives in me.

When I fall asleep I can hear the music slowly playing “All of me …..Loves…. all of you” .A hand slowly grabs my waist and unknowingly I start dancing to that beat every single night. You know when you fantasies about someone they start holding you back. Did it ever occur to you the person you loved for years was just a part of your imagination? I have loved him for years. When you fall in love its true all your five senses die but the stronger sixth sense arises. The sense that blocks your reality and pushes you towards a door  that if you crossed there is no coming back. You can feel you are living your fantasy but you cannot take it to the real world. Your senses cry for you to come back but you can’t or maybe you don’t want to.Every night I can feel his warm breath on my neck and when sometimes I try to wake up but as my alarm shouts it’s all gone. When he holds my body so close to his I want to hold him back but I fail.

 

Two years back when I first saw this beautiful dream I cried when I woke as if I’ve lost someone who was meant to be mine but now I am crying my heart to wake up but I can’t. Falling in love is the easiest thing I’ve ever done but what if you want to fall out of it. You wake up every morning with a smile on your face and the smile slowly fades when you cannot remember what happened last night. Was that a dream? What if I was drunk and that wasn’t a dream. There is a hurricane of questions every single morning and there is no one to answer. Years back it all felt right, now my brain has frozen and the thin line that differs what’s right or what’s wrong is now gone. The door I’ve crossed before is now closed and there is no one to ask for the keys. It feels really terrifying when you want to move away from someone but you fail. Having the person you love right next to you is what every person dream about. Losing the person you love is may be the scariest shit one can imagine. But how would you describe the emotion for someone who can neither have the person they loved since infinity nor their heart let their brain breathe?? You know you suffer till your soul die when to let go is beyond your choice . 

and when I close my eyes I die every single night ,my soul leaves me for him. My body freezes and the music slowly play

“All of me … loves … all of you” .

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surbhi jain
लेखिका हूँ 😊

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