I prefer nature, because a therapist is expensive.

6 minutes Read “I prefer nature, because a therapist is expensive” So, I’ll call it a bliss only that within twenty four hours I’ve experienced three wondrous wonders of nature. As usual I always prefer evening coffee at my terrace. And it was the day of Eid. After having some sips at my veranda I went upstairs to my tin-shed rooftop and had rest of the coffee there. It was around seven. Sun was setting down on the opposite hillside with some musk hues. Later this orangish hue turned out to several other magnificent shades of violet, pink and ash. Clouds were in good motion due to the puffy evening winds. Some transparency was there between the crescent and me. But the silver sheen was not so clear. As the colors started scattered into other shades and the clouds were still, then the silver lining crescent was seen with a clear gaze. The entire picture took around 20 minutes. And I guess it was the first time that my coffee lasted that long. With some soft sufi melodies I spent the moment. Was just about to move downstairs and phone beeped. It was a text from my colleague regarding the plan for the next day. Okay so, it was tuesday morning and as per the freezed timing and place to meet, five of us gathered there. Settled plan was not working so we dropped it. Not a single being was thinking about the place where to go. We were totally dependent on each other. And from somewhere a voice came “katarmal” and the rest of us were like, ok fine. Let’s go!...

Because I love you.

1 minutes Read I always wondered how it’s to be loved by a man. One I was after was out of my league and I knew it hence I never told him about my affectiin for him. There was no doubt he liked me too. But liking and loving are pole apart things, aren’t they? I couldn’t have interpretation those shy smiles wrong I’m sure of that much. Age was the real barrier in his eyes I guess for he is much older than I am. When he said he can’t love me it was not with words but with expressions and gestures and I read them all right for I knew every single line on his face. I said nothing to him or to anyone but I suffered silently trying to get over him. It was difficult then and it is difficult now. I can see the conflict in his eyes too whenever our eyes meet. He is single still and he lives all alone. He says he do not wish to corrupt me and my innocence and that it’s better this way. I wish he will realize these things matter scarcely to me because I love...

The Zone

1 minutes Read It’s not a good place to be and I least prefer it ,still I end up here once in a while. This place is drab and eerie and oh so alone. Once here I can’t seem to find a escape. I’m helpless here. The place exists inside me. It only overpowers in darkest hour.  I call it ‘the zone’. I’m afraid of being here. It exists inside everybody just that some except it and some deny it.  People are scared to acknowledge it for the Zone showcases their defeats.                Whenever I’m in deeper waters this zone closes in on me and I feel trapped.  Zone pulls me deeper and deeper into its depths till I become the mere mass of nerves. Zone gets triggered whenever I lost the innings of opportunity, whenever the people around me gives me that hopeless look making me feel like some worthless rag, whenever I see someone doing better than me instead of all my efforts and whenever I’m left all alone. Being alone is crux here for the Zone has its roots in stillness of aloneness. I’m very aware of this zone inside me all the time and I dread it’s upcoming. It’s stark black… This zone.. it’s the darkest place in the world for the place has reminders of only my defeats and failures. Zone never allows a glimmer of hope and diminishes any hope I have at all, slowly trapping me in trap of negativeity. Here all the secret grudges patrol around threatening to come up. Here I’m bound to feel the rush of...

Love story of two cities

1 minutes Read P.c.  www.google.com We are not humanswe are citiesand unlike living ones,we are connected by roads & airwhich,can never be unfair I lead to uu lead to me & hence we maintain , the perfect harmonyso what if we ain't livingmillion lives reside in us,billion dreams flourish hereWe've loved each otherso madly,that any place after you, will have to go through meand only me.when i get wet in rainsu are notified instantlyby the breeze and that smell of soil& hence we are more connected than humans,who've learnt only to spoil.Feelings may changebut roads don't feelhearts do breakwhich ends the zealBut a damaged road, still leads to its destination& thereby, a road never insults the love's equation...

Anxiety and talking to my boyfriend

1 minutes Read We are sitting in different cities in our little beds. The sky is lush black and the only light in my room is the flashing light of my phone screen as we text. I ask him to tell me anything. I just want to talk to someone. He tells me about how we could go on a trip together and I wonder if anxiety will leave me alone for  a trip with my boyfriend. Anxiety will probably keep telling me that he won’t like the face that he wakes up to in the hotel room bedroom. That sex for the first time will be clumsy and I’ll leave him unsatisfied. Anxiety throbs inside me feelings of insecurity. It tells me to not call him too much or ask for help too much or text him too much because my too much will push him away to the edge where he’ll fall off from my field of vision and I will be left alone with feeling of a vacant bed and vacant neck and an empty mouth. He asks me beach or mountains? Mountains I say because I don’t want my body to show for him to realise that there are yet options that he must explore. Logic says that he should love me for me but anxiety talks bullshit into me. That night I choose mountains. I choose blankets in the bed and dim light so he doesn’t watch my body and all the traces of my past and my parents shameful inheritance on it.  I feel guilty for feeling shame. I feel guilty for not being good enough...

मैंने जाना ही बेहतर समझा

0 minutes Read ना था वक्त का अंदाज़ा मुझे,तो इश्क मैंने ऊम्र भर का समझा।ना दी तूने ईजाज़त दिल की चौख़ट पर तो,मैंने जाना ही बेहतर समझा। मरके जिया था तेरे लिये,ये जन्म जो मैंने पुनर् समझा।चाक कर दीया अपने इरादों से दिल तूने तो,मैंने जाना ही बेहतर समझा। कुछ यूं बोली मेरी परछाई मुझसे,इक बार तू उसकी धूप में खिल जा।ढक दी मेरी परछाई काली घटाओं से तूने तो,मैंने जाना ही बेहतर समझा। मुझे तो मेरी धडकन ने बोला,इक बार उसके दिल में फिर रम जा।तोड के दिल ये रोक दी तूने धडकन तो,मैंने जाना ही बेहतर समझा। सोचा तर दूंगा खुशियों की बारिश से,उस चेहरे को जिसमें जाने क्यूं इतना ग़म था।पर वजूद ना देखा तेरी मुस्कान में मेरा तो,मैंने जाना ही बेहतर...

Hope

1 minutes Read This day too ended but my hope didn’t. A hope that you will be back. A hope that makes me dream about ‘us’ again. A hope that makes my heart travel. A hope that brings smile on my face. A hope that makes me forget all my pain. A hope that things will work in our favour. A hope that strengthens my belief on this vague dream. A hope that everything would be alright. A hope that rises and falls with each passing second. A hope that I believe may never fade...

Priorities

1 minutes Read I always beleive that the people you care for, will be by your side no matter what. I mean sure priorities change, but that doesn’t mean they have started hating you, or loving you less. They’re same. The feelings, the emotions, the amount of care, everything. It’s you who have to understand they have someone else now. Someone who needs more attention, care, feelings, emotions, and everything else that was once only for you. And it would be better if you understand that for them, this person matters more than you. That doesn’t mean you don’t exist for them now, sure you do. That also doesn’t mean nothing’s changed. Yes, something’s definitely altered. It’s the priority. If you were primarily on their mind before, you’ve turned secondary now. And it’s an unavoidable truth. A truth that you’ve to live with. But does that signify everything’s over? No, it’s not. It’s just a phase. It was yours once, now it’s someone else’s....

My Everything

1 minutes Read My Everything  I am exist , Because of you. you are the one , who loves me unconditionally. you are the one , who have conviction in me. you are the one , who knows me too well. you are the one , who is always on my side. you are the one , who is embedded in the soul of me. you are the one , who gives me always a good advice. you are the one , who faced soreness for me. you are the one , who fills me with happiness. you are the one , who is my mum. words may be end , but  your esteem can’t be.                       -Rupali Chaudhary....

Appearance isn’t important

2 minutes Read “Oh look at that boy” says Priya when Shivam enters the classroom. The whole class turns towards him. Another girl said “Look at that dark complexioned boy”. Everyone started laughing at him. Poor shivam felt very sad. He had no friends. No one even wanted to sit next to him. Many days after a crew comes to their school for an AD shoot and they said that they would be requiring a child for the same. Many children presented themselves for the audition but none of them got selected. Shivam thought “Why not I try for the audition?” He knows that he definitely won’t be selected for the shoot, but still he went and gave the audition. The crew members were quite impressed with Shivam and they selected him. All the children asked them “How could you select Shivam when there were many of us better than him.” The director said “His skin complexion doesn’t matter at all, his skill does matter and I must say that he is very good at acting.” After that incident, Shivam became popular in his school and he was never alone again. Appearance is just like clothing or you can say it is the clothing of our soul. One should not judge a book by its cover. We can’t judge a person by how he looks. But what matters in the end are his character, skill, and attitude. A person who is fair need not be a good person or a dark complexioned person need not be a bad person or vice versa. There are many things that define a person. If the...

One Night with Artsy Person

3 minutes Read I still feel my nerve pulsating at my wrist though I have relaxed breathing. The sweat beads are all over my body. I lie naked next to him, his one hand is wrapped around my belly. Sheets are covering us partially. Through slided curtains moon light is peeking into the room, illuminating half of his face. I can hear humming of his breathing. His hair is tousled mess, his lips are slightly parted as trying to speak the words he will never speak. He is already asleep. His closed eyes are enclosing some light that I have never seen before, if it was for not him. Those pitch-black eyes are some other level problem for me. I am friends with him for four straight years. I have seen his days and nights which were experiencing a jolt of ups and downs. I have seen the days when he comes to me with spark in his eyes, radiating enthusiastic pheromones which always dictates his word of joys scribbled on hundreds of pages. I have seen the days when he comes to me with utter most chaos. In those days, he has problem forming sentences. He doesn’t even give monosyllabic answers. At first, I was unable to think what is wrong with him but I understood later, these are his days of doom. Those days are most scary because it seems life has creeped out of him. He is nothing but a dead body who has frozen sitting posture, staring absently out of the window whose glass is left unclean. Everyday, he is a new challenge. My friends would always say,...

Listen to the silent screams..

3 minutes Read Books, the one and the only source that can change a person’s mindset forever. Whenever I finish a book, I often face a condition of “book comma” where all I do is talk about the characters, try to feel how they felt when something tragic or something great happened to them. In simple words, for a few days, I live inside the book. Recently I read ” 13 REASONS WHY” by ” JAY ASHER” and without even committing suicide, I could relate with the mindset of the victim.Whenever someone takes such step, all we do is star calling them a coward. Sometimes. they leave a note or a message describing why they did it & sometimes, they just leave, without saying anything, with loads of unanswered questions lest behind; without even saying a goodbye, and with the biggest question;WHY?This book helped me to understand that they are not a coward. They probably would have tried each and every possible way not to think about it, not to do it because they themselves loathe this word, this idea. They probably would have tried to smile, to blend in, to be happy and strong but at the end, they gave up. Sometimes, “the smallest bruises or cuts hurt more than a huge injury” and that is what exactly happens with them.What if one day, you go out of your house with an optimist mind, with a feeling to seize the day but when you come back, all you’re filled with is the new cuts. How would you feel and what if this happens everyday?This made me realize their state of mind when they...

May be you can save one life. Go for it.

2 minutes Read Maybe it’s because of me, no maybe it’s the situation, no wait maybe he or she is wrong… What if they are right and I am wrong. How many times we keep thinking these things and try to help our self but are not able to because even the correct answer is in our mind, we are not sure of it. In our generation, I have seen a habit of not sharing their feelings with anyone and keep torturing themselves. Remember every night and don’t lie to yourself, is there any night when you sleep without any tension in your mind. I am sure 99.9 Percent that I am correct, the answer is none of you. Not that I am not aware of the real world and talking crazy but talking about your real world which you are destroying “you”. It’s tuff to find someone in your life with whom you can share every problem and every bad memory but if you really go deep to this thought, each one of you have friends, family, life partner and any other relative and I am not ready to accept that there is really not a single person with whom you can share your thoughts. You must be wondering why I am so much concerned about telling you people to share. Do you know where this new generation is going, it will give you a shock towards emptiness and hollowness, which leads to depression to every second person in the society Do you know according to the WHO statistics 2k17 there are 5 crore people in India suffering from depression and...

I tried imagining a day

2 minutes Read I tried imagining a day when I’d wake up to the ringing of my alarm clock at 6 in the morning and I’d no more have to hunt for my phone and pull it out from below the pillow finally and type ” Thank you for putting me to sleep last night ” and text it to you . And as soon as my focal length would adjust to the screaming sunlight , that photo frame on which you once wrote a song for me wouldn’t be there on the table beside my bed and I would no more recite those lines in my head and memorising those words wouldn’t be as easy as knowing all the words from an old favourite song .  Dragging myself out of the bed , I’d decide to take a walk around the town and stepping down that narrow oft-trodden way , I’d  find my feet following the path to the highest rock there , from where I could look down to see the silver brooke singing my homecoming and the woodpecker knocking the pines with their beaks maybe asking them how come I was alone that day and the pines would reply in a secret silence  . I’d sit there , my back facing the sun with ” To kill a mockingbird ” and after reading for an hour or so , I wouldn’t feel your gaze on my face like I once did . I’d no more have to hold back the scarlet on my cheeks and give you a quizzical look . ” Your dreams are going to come true...

The Snuggled Childhood

3 minutes Read 14th December,2010Dad, it is my 10th birthday today. I used to watch my friends’ parents picking and leaving them from school this day. I watched them celebrating this special day with their kids, giving them gifts, going to shopping and restaurants with them. But for you, today was just a normal day. A normal duty day.You didn’t even care to spend a little time with me. I feel unwanted.Maa and Dadi are there with me to celebrate. They even bought me my favourite chocolate cake.But I want you.To be there by my side, caressing my hair, helping me cut the cake.But you are not there.And this is the first time I hate you for not making it upto me.25th December, 2016Christmas time, Santa time.Today was the Christmas party at school. My all friends were too excited. Their Fathers will come up dressed as Santa tonight, to give them gifts, and to watch them smiling with their crooked, broken teeth.But I don’t have any Santa with me.When I asked Maa to be my Santa, she complained of being busy with her office stuff. She promises me to bring me gifts from Santa some other day.But I don’t want gifts.I want you.You are my Santa, my happiness. I want to be with you.But you don’t care.Today again, I hate you for not being here.21st January, 2011Today was my Annual Function. I received my 1st award for academic excellence. All parents were present to watch their kids achieve and get prizes. But you, were still not there.The entire audience in the hall clapped for me when the Chief Guest handed me the...

An Enigma

2 minutes Read “hey shabanam, tell me truly! You would like to complete my work naa!!”  “oh my dear sameer, will you please tell me a single reason, why I would like to do your work?? “ ” well its very genuine that you and me both know the answer of this question, then also I must tell you, IT’S BCOZ YOU LOVE ME” Hearing these words from sameer ‘s mouth was really shocking for her. Completing the incomplete word of a dear friend does mean a thing like that?? Thinking this she was actually hiding her emotions but in the fathom of her heart she needed an answer!! How did he come to know about his real condition even if she had not left a sparkle of doubt for him, even if she had not shown him her loving emotions.  All that happened in few seconds when she first saw him that an ugly looking, moustache less boys photo was pasted in her hand and she like a normal wind started moving towards him. Knowingly or unknowingly she was in love with him. But soon did she herself realised that she was moving towards a wrong way. It was against the law created by hr own.  It is said that “karo whi jo dil khe, magar dil keh rha tha ki pyaar kar  onse again she became a bird of the world of literature, her eyes got thin shine black. But love is of many types!! some love by face, some due to grace, and some by partners maal..!! and the maal was enough with sameer. So he was loved by...

Writer’s Patch

1 minutes Read Writer’s patch o Writer’s patch, How do you bring it out in me, Thinking  that I am on a roll, Just then Poetry ditches me..   Brainstorming myself, Just to find something, Only for ideas to fade in and out, Just like civilization turned into modern technology..   So, I just penned down stuff, Comedy brought me into laughter, Love brought me into blushes, Sad reminded me of Arjit Singh, Life made me inspired, Yet all down down on paper to form a literature..   It maybe short, But I am back with a bang, Writer’s patch, it’s time to pack and leave with a clang.    ...

Sobriety of Love

1 minutes Read It was still there when you did not see it and it is still there now showering the pearls that stick on your body in a cold winter night and relish it till its morning. It was still there when the sun was singeing the loam with all its might, and even when it was evening, it did not set; it kept making love with the earth until it slept in the arms of the night. It was still there when the child came first into a mother’s womb, and after full nine months, it came out and the mother took hold of it teary eyed, it was still there. It was always there, kept walking not with you but a little behind you like a shadow so that you cannot see it. It wanted you to get drenched in the first rain, wanted you to gleam not like a half lit lantern but like a full fledged star. It wanted to serve you like a slave and to master you like God but it restrained itself for the sake of itself, the love...

Call for Kismet

1 minutes Read I am at a lonely road of broken dreams, It’s a Boulevard that I am searching for..   The galaxy is so bright, Yet it’s the Moon that we search for..   Love is angry at me, It’s peace kissing our feelings..   Happiness is written all over our stars, Despair lurks greedily around our shadows..   There’s a rush-hour around me for eternity, But it’s a companion that I am searching for..   My Life is just like a branched path, It’s a destination, I am seeking for..   Yet clueless to what I am searching for, Maybe it’s *MY DESTINY*, that my soul seeks...

Inner voice : You.

2 minutes Read I wiped my tears and sat there still lost my thoughts. My phone rang. It displayed hospital’s number. I picked up the phone. “Hello”,I answered the call. “Yes. Hello ma’am. Are you the care taker of patient admitted in room number 1209?” , the voice on the other end asked. “Yes. Is everything alright?” , I said in a shaky voice. “Ma’am please rush to the hospital as soon as possible. Please.” And the call disconnected. Shake I was. My life was lying there unconscious. And a call from hospital asking me to rush as soon as possible. What was happening to me? Why?   I somehow gathered some courage and drove to the hospital. Your room was in 6th floor. Stairs or lift? Confused. Lift said my mind. I rushed towards the lift. I entered the lift and pressed on number 6. I couldn’t wait to reach the floor soon. The time was killing me from within. What was waiting upstairs? Did you wake up? Are you listening to.me? Are you okay? The lift opened. I.walked towards your room. The. place you rested. The place you’d been since past one year. As I reached your room, I.couldn’t spot you. I searched for you everywhere. But you weren’t there!!!  Oh god !!! Where are you? :O . . . I rushed down the stairs, asked the nurse , doctors. All I could hear was that you weren’t there in your room since morning. . . .Hours passed by. I felt helpless. I couldn’t find you. All my hopes washed away. . . . . With no hopes left, I...

Inner voice : Reminder !!

2 minutes Read 29th January , 2015   “See, I’m not sure it will work. I mean it’s just few weeks that we’ve known each other. How can you be so sure that I’m the one for you?” I said. “Sia, please trust me. I’ve been feeling something for you since I saw you that I can bet I’ve not felt for anyone ever. The feeling of comfort , security and love all together. I love you. ” You replied, as if explaining me. “Okay.Let’s give this bond a try. I don’t like jumping to conclusions without even trying once. I’m game for. it.”   I still remember you smile. The smile that was brighter than any other day, any other moment. It symbolised how much my agreement meant to you.   Since then , we were stepping closer to each other emotionally with every passing moment. As seen always, with emotional closeness , physical closeness follow.  18th July 2015 It rained so hard that day. We both while returning from our college got drenched in rain. All wet, we decided to land up at my place for sometime. Mom dad were out for some work that day, as always. As I passed on the towel to you, my leg slipped and I was on you in a moment or so. Wet bodies couldn’t stop what was going to happen. We came the longest distance of out relationship without prior plans. Emotions flooded and senses provoked.  From their onwards, everything went on so well.   February 2017 A couple of years passed by and relationship statuses changed. My designation from your girlfriend...

The Hell Tour

4 minutes Read Death was definitely not the end of life, once we leave our mortal journey , we start a journey to eternity. In my case, I had to equalize my work quotient to my sin quotient. Somehow, this was the only equation that had ever made sense- Karma. Did I miss them? My family, my friends? Yes, I did. But there is nothing I can do about that, except feel guilty about the fact that I should have worn a jacket that winter night. Maybe I would have lived longer , if I made a deal with the devil , but still I would die and eventually end up here for a longer time. So, in a way yes, I was relieved I wasn’t going to be punished forever. I was officially.. In hell! Woohoo! It had a scary ambience I must say, I commend them on their interior designing skills. I could hear faint screams and chants going on. Suddenly the whole place shook with large amount of fumes blowing up from under. Somehow, I didn’t want to know what that was. I took small, steady steps forward , avoiding the areas with effects they had added to the place. I went up to the first booth I saw. There was a man with dark brown hair, his legs shamelessly resting on the desk covered with black ankle length studded boots. I couldn’t quite count the piercings on his face, or were they moles ? He was scraping off black nail polish from his thumb nail. He looked at me, his water line, and eyelids were covered with thick...

That PUNJABI Vegetarian Friend.

2 minutes Read We all know about the special treatment that the “vegetarian” people get from everywhere and anywhere they go. But, have you ever thought about our very loving PUNJABIS ? No, right. The reason being their undivided love and their faithfulness for non-vegetarian food.  Yes, even a PUNJABI can be a VEGETARIAN. Even though it’s unbelievable but it’s true. Disheartening!!  So, what happens when you come across a PUNJABI who turns out to be a vegetarian? Let me tell you: 1. Weird reactions. Out of everyone, we just can’t accept the fact that even Punjabis can be vegetarians and no wonder they receive some of the most unbelievable reactions globally.    2. You get Alienated.  A Punjabi who loves grass is considered as a being from Pluto. Thus, even gets rejected by their own friends. Now, for just a single vegetarian Punjabi friend, kon ek plate butter paneer order kare?    3. Besties Wrath.  Alright, even our gaurdian angels who have unlimited tolerance for our shits have an expiry date as well. So, when that vegetarian guy keeps on ranting about you being a murderer, it just gets too much to handle once in a while. Plus, Uski mom ke haath ki bani hui non-vegetarian dishes bhi uska ek lauta yaar nhi pasand karta.    4. You don’t even get a date.  95% of the world population is now non-vegetarian. So, finding a date for that dear Punjabi friend of yours is no less than Mission Impossible 7. And finding a vegetarian girl for our Gabroo Jassi Gill is as tough as getting back the Kohinoor from Britain. Dal aur paneer ke...

Top Superfoods For Detoxification

3 minutes Read Why do we need to detox? Our bodies have the mechanism called Detoxification that eliminates toxins. The liver and the gallbladder take responsibility for detoxifying our bodies. Even when we eat the healthiest foods and drink the purest water, we still can not stay away from all kinds of harmful toxins. It is because toxins exist everywhere around us. The environment including the water, the air and the soil is polluted. Living in this polluted environment with a lot of nasty things gradually does make us unhealthy. We can risk many health problems such as skin problems, digestive disorders and chronic fatigue. Since it is possible that the liver and the gallbladder can be overworked, it is great to have some foods that can back up the liver and the gallbladder’s detoxifying function. Top Superfoods For Detoxification I am glad to share with you the Top Superfoods For Detoxification below.       Lemon When it comes to detoxifying function, the first thought jump into our minds probably is lemon. It is because detoxification means cleaning and nourishing, and lemon is really famous for these abilities. Thanks to the natural acid, lemon is good at keeping the pH levels of your body balanced and refreshing your body. The most well-known substance in lemon is vitamin C, and it does give the liver a hand in detoxifying function. When you consume lemon, the high level of vitamin C in this brilliant fruit make your body produce glutathione which is a compound helping in detoxifying process. All you need to do is just squeezing half of a lemon into a glass of boiled water....

Mutiny

1 minutes Read The solemn, the honored, the deity of compassion;Goddess like, women have had epithets several. But with the coming of the harrowing age of the vice,Father time stands witness to the Goddess’ dismal demise.The crude demons of this era have filthily sinned,and echoing about is women’s shattering magnificence’s din. Her supple wrists have been brutally broken;She cannot protest and is unable to shout for help.Her tongues have been tied and throats have been slit,Helplessly dumb, she cannot scream or yelp. Withstanding pain and horror,the clocks have ticked on;Filled up to the brim are now the cauldrons of vice & wrong. The conch shells have now been sounded; the tempest of wrath is at its peak,The victims have vowed to avenge the melancholy of tattered veils.Until the rogues are beheaded and shunned to burning hell,She shan’t stop until this tyranny has been wrecked. And then alike Draupadi, the wretched daughter of Drupad,the Goddesses shall rinse their manes in the traitors’ blood.The woeful wounds begin to heal as truth triumphs over wrong,Disrobed of respect formerly, with dignity & regard she is...