Guilt

Guilt

I feel guilty. 

I feel guilty of my simple pleasures.
I feel guilty of my simple wishes.
Wishes like wanting to dance in a ball, or watch the sun set on a beach.
I feel guilty of them.

 

I see people abusing each other.
I hear about people beating up each other.
I see people torturing their fellow beings.
I read about people killing animals,
And cutting down trees for their selfish needs.

 

And I feel guilty.

 

My mind screams at my heart,
“You aren’t supposed to be happy you idiot.”
“There is too much sadness in the world. Look at them. How can you be happy!”

 

“You don’t deserve to be”

 

My guilt overpowers me.

 

“You are right.” My heart tells my brain.
“People are bad. They’re monsters. They’re monsters with pretty faces that lure you during the day, and haunt you at night.”

 

I won’t lie. I’ve often wanted to leave.
Humans terrify me. They can go from being the sweetest angels, to the most terrifying creatures.

 

I won’t lie. I’ve often felt so lonely, that talking to myself had been the only option. Sounds a bit narcissistic, but it worked. I felt sane.

 

In fact, she helped me talk. And I forgot about her. Until I was lonely again.

 
 

“You came back” she said. “I knew you’d come back. Don’t worry, I’ll always be here.”

 

I know. She’s pretty gentle.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
**image courtesy- Google**

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Radha Iyer

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