Talk to a class 9th student about relationships and you will get to know that almost 80% of them today are in a relationship. And from their description of being together, you will realise that relationships today have stopped being about love. It’s just a guy and a girl walking around hand in hand to show the world that they are together. It is about telling the world and not each other that they love each other.
Love is sacrificial. It is understanding the other person and giving them space to be themselves. It is being there for the other person. It is growing together and becoming powerful as a couple and at the same time also letting the other person keep their individual identity. It is not nagging the other person for attention all day all night. It isn’t going out on dates just so that you can tell your friends what an amazing couple you are.
Most of the teenage relationships today are loveless. But the fact that today’s generation doesn’t understand love doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. I believe that there are soulmates and that ‘forevers’; exist. And I am also not against relationships at a young age. I believe you can find your soulmate at 13 or 30. And when you do, you will know it in your heart that this is the person you want to spend your life with. Your soulmate won’t make you feel nervous or scared or anxious, the feelings associated today with being in love , they will bring with themselves a calm. They will let you relax and be yourself. And at the same time, it will be passionate. So passionate that the minute your skins touch it will be enough to light up a million stars, and still be as calm as the night that holds them.
But today’s generation is so scared of being alone that we settle. We choose anyone who comes our way just so that we aren’t alone, and we have someone to call our own. We stop our lives looking for love, for any companionship no matter how uncomfortable it is. We need to understand that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely. We have to find peace in solitude. That’s when we will be ready for love.
Today’s kids need to know that even if you find your soulmate at 60 years of age it will be beautiful. And the days you spend together will make everything worth it. And the adults need to understand that love exists and it is important. They need to trust their kids enough to let them look for it. Tell your kids what is important in life, and what to look for in someone. Teach them the difference between love and lust and trust them to work it out and come back to you with a smile on their face and love in their hearts. And have the courage to accept and honour their decision.