Lost Love

Lost Love

It was a regular day at school and the first-period had just started. I was sitting in some back corner of the class feeling cut-off from the actual world and focusing on the books that my dad had just bought me for the new session. Since I had just shifted my base to a new school, I was alone and had no friends. The students were enjoying their first day and were creating a lot of commotion in the class. However, I was easily able to hear the sound of the duster striking the table amidst all the hullaballoo. The class teacher had just arrived and was trying to maintain discipline while interacting with the class. Maybe she didn’t want to appear cranky! She took out her attendance register and started calling names which helped me remember a few unfamiliar faces (It’s the introvert’s way of getting to know people!). Leaping out of the world that consisted of only me, I befriended the guy who was sitting just ahead of me and who was quite simple too.

Hailing from a not so upper-class family, I was always taught to be modest and sincere or maybe I inherited it. I told him about me and my lifestyle but he was more of running a background check on me; the one consisting of the caste and other useless things and that annoyed me. I started to avoid him by just nodding my head in a yes or no to whatever he says. However, he wasn’t stopping and that was the time when I lifted my head up and the image of a person caught my attention. She was standing at the door waiting for the permission to come in.

With her midnight-black hairs braided together in a Punjabi style long pony, and her lips as red as of a rose petal, she had a milky white skin tone and appeared like an angel who came straight away from heaven. She was the epitome of beauty and it felt like God must have fueled in a lot of time to create her. As she was late, the teacher was not really entertaining her and she kept on standing for almost 2 minutes. Those 2 minutes, I was just gazing at her and didn’t even blink my eyes once. For the first time in my life, I felt like “Yeah! She is the one!” and my heart kept asking me to go and introduce myself but my mind wasn’t ready to do so. And to my surprise, or maybe luck, she came straight towards my row and sat on the chair right beside me. Well said, “Never expect the unexpected”! I was trying to avoid eye contact with her, might she think I’m a stalker who is just swayed away by her beauty but whatsoever; my eyes were fixed on her, no matter what thoughts buzzed into my mind. I’m sure she might have noticed me but hadn’t cared much because not only me, the whole school was a fan of hers and I bet she must have got a lot of proposals by then.

The first day passed away by just staring at her and figuring out ways to approach her. Next day, the same happened and I wished I could talk to her privately since she was always surrounded by a bunch of boys and girls like they were her followers. Even after she enjoyed such fame in the school, she was really a down-to-earth person with a kind heart. Her simplicity reflected from her conversation and yet was the perfect example of beauty. Since she used to sit in the place right beside me, we soon started talking and became friends. Whenever she used to laugh in between, it felt like the best thing has happened to me. Now, I had a reason to go to the school, that is, just to see her adorable face.

Then, there came this one time when I thought of proposing her. The whole session I had thought of asking her but couldn’t due to multiple circumstances. Neither did I had enough guts to ask her for her phone number. Even I didn’t connect with her on social media thinking that it will be good if she tries to connect first (This is where my ego came in, I guess). And the session came to an end like this! With just 2-3 days left before the new session, I was firm enough to approach her, maybe because I had this feeling of us separating unexpectedly the last night.

After the exam was over, I rushed to her examination classroom with heavy footsteps just to find that she had left early that day. I thought of asking her the next day. Next day being the last day of our school, I was quite sceptical about my chances. However, I didn’t hesitate to take the risk and finished my exam early that day just to make sure that I won’t miss her out. But to my surprise, when I reached her classroom, she wasn’t there. So, I asked her friend about her whereabouts and he told me that she hadn’t come for the exam. I didn’t know how to react and hoping to meet her after holidays, went back to home with my sulky face.

The holidays passed and there wasn’t a single day when I didn’t think of her. Her sweet face and those funny talks kept buzzing my mind every time, and I wished to see her again in school for the new session. However, our destiny had something different for us. During those holidays, my dad decided to change my school to a nearby one. The news came as a lighting strike to me, however, I didn’t resist. For the formalities of getting a TC, I went to school for the last time hoping to see her. But there, from our common friend, I got to know that she had migrated to some new school and he hadn’t seen her since holidays. I tried to contact her through facebook but she didn’t respond. It was not her fault though, due to the large pending friend requests and messages in her account from unknown people (she had a large fan following as she was damn pretty!), facebook didn’t allow any further messages or friend requests to be sent to her. And this ended my long struggle of trying to get her.

The feeling itself of losing her was disturbing my mind and I felt helpless. However, as it is said “Time Heals”, the same happened to me. It has been 3 years now, and I haven’t talked to her since then. However, I still want her badly and try to message her but it goes all in vain. Whenever I see her picture, her memories shone in my mind and I’m taken 3 years back to those days when she was here. She is in Singapore as of now far away from me, pursuing fashion designing and that’s all I know. Still being the same (as per from her looks), I hope she hasn’t forgotten me. And one day, I wish to find her, tell her what I feel and end my long lasting battle of trying to get her.

“I know that’s what people say– you’ll get over it. I’d say it, too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love, it will be because something in the person reminds you of her.”

― Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

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Madhav Goyal
An ambivert, a naturalist, an avid reader, a budding writer, pet lover and a family person, I love to explore those topics that help my readers gain knowledge while feeling intrigued to the content.
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