When Home Isn’t An Escape

When Home Isn’t An Escape

Leering through the windows in this insufferable summer heat, I hear the distinct voices of my relatives revisiting the tales and truths of their lives in this town. Their laughter and remembrance process provokes me to ponder how times have changed, how their stories and the reality have no connection anymore, how every bits and pieces of this town has changed for the good and for the bad. “I got this house back in the early 90’s for a lakh, and now I’m selling it for 50 lakhs, can you believe that? Real fortunate, I tell you”, my uncle boasted, more eruption of laughter and congratulatory wishes.
I am almost on the verge of a dying teenage life, and as I contemplate my entire being I am embarrassed by the lack of contact with the building world outside. Regardless of the repute in the online realm, the acceptance and liberty in standing in a mob of haste, inhaling the spirits of their ambitious livelihood, knocking me over by their courage to stand alone and true to themselves is captivating. Where I live, where I’ve spent all my life, people have an undying love towards not seeking exposure and not altering mindsets as times amend. If they please, they will hold on to the imprudent morale’s passed on to us by our ancestor. My town habitats not going beyond their perspective has resulted in the loss and destruction of many dreams, and the ones to dared to break this bubble have achieved massive success. But that won’t affect these people, nothing affects these people.
Tired of hearing the folktales, I step out of the house to the familiar concrete pavements, the perpetual ambiance of screeching animals and vehicles past the road. I could walk miles keeping my eyes closed not bumping into anyone or anything, that’s how stable and dreary it has become. I put on my earphones and began walking, sharing talks with conversant natives who I grew up with; who, like me, ended up not following their dreams but that of their parents. As much as I abash the town, I have become who am I today because of this conservative upbringing. I discovered and closeted myself, I advocated any change that I could see happening, I helped the younger ones to open their colourful minds and search the answers to those questions that compel them to stay still.
I walk, yet again, concentrating on the lyrics that is goal. “It’s not that I won’t remember where I’m from, just don’t want to be here no more… “

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Lavanya Thankappan
I jibber-jabber about Paramore. Rose-coloured dullard with an affection for words.
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