I prefer nature, because a therapist is expensive.

I prefer nature, because a therapist is expensive.

“I prefer nature, because a therapist is expensive” So, I’ll call it a bliss only that within twenty four hours I’ve experienced three wondrous wonders of nature. As usual I always prefer evening coffee at my terrace. And it was the day of Eid. After having some sips at my veranda I went upstairs to my tin-shed rooftop and had rest of the coffee there. It was around seven. Sun was setting down on the opposite hillside with some musk hues. Later this orangish hue turned out to several other magnificent shades of violet, pink and ash. Clouds were in good motion due to the puffy evening winds. Some transparency was there between the crescent and me. But the silver sheen was not so clear. As the colors started scattered into other shades and the clouds were still, then the silver lining crescent was seen with a clear gaze. The entire picture took around 20 minutes. And I guess it was the first time that my coffee lasted that long. With some soft sufi melodies I spent the moment. Was just about to move downstairs and phone beeped. It was a text from my colleague regarding the plan for the next day. Okay so, it was tuesday morning and as per the freezed timing and place to meet, five of us gathered there. Settled plan was not working so we dropped it. Not a single being was thinking about the place where to go. We were totally dependent on each other. And from somewhere a voice came “katarmal” and the rest of us were like, ok fine. Let’s go!...
Because I love you.

Because I love you.

I always wondered how it’s to be loved by a man. One I was after was out of my league and I knew it hence I never told him about my affectiin for him. There was no doubt he liked me too. But liking and loving are pole apart things, aren’t they? I couldn’t have interpretation those shy smiles wrong I’m sure of that much. Age was the real barrier in his eyes I guess for he is much older than I am. When he said he can’t love me it was not with words but with expressions and gestures and I read them all right for I knew every single line on his face. I said nothing to him or to anyone but I suffered silently trying to get over him. It was difficult then and it is difficult now. I can see the conflict in his eyes too whenever our eyes meet. He is single still and he lives all alone. He says he do not wish to corrupt me and my innocence and that it’s better this way. I wish he will realize these things matter scarcely to me because I love...
Priorities

Priorities

I always beleive that the people you care for, will be by your side no matter what. I mean sure priorities change, but that doesn’t mean they have started hating you, or loving you less. They’re same. The feelings, the emotions, the amount of care, everything. It’s you who have to understand they have someone else now. Someone who needs more attention, care, feelings, emotions, and everything else that was once only for you. And it would be better if you understand that for them, this person matters more than you. That doesn’t mean you don’t exist for them now, sure you do. That also doesn’t mean nothing’s changed. Yes, something’s definitely altered. It’s the priority. If you were primarily on their mind before, you’ve turned secondary now. And it’s an unavoidable truth. A truth that you’ve to live with. But does that signify everything’s over? No, it’s not. It’s just a phase. It was yours once, now it’s someone else’s....
One Night with Artsy Person

One Night with Artsy Person

I still feel my nerve pulsating at my wrist though I have relaxed breathing. The sweat beads are all over my body. I lie naked next to him, his one hand is wrapped around my belly. Sheets are covering us partially. Through slided curtains moon light is peeking into the room, illuminating half of his face. I can hear humming of his breathing. His hair is tousled mess, his lips are slightly parted as trying to speak the words he will never speak. He is already asleep. His closed eyes are enclosing some light that I have never seen before, if it was for not him. Those pitch-black eyes are some other level problem for me. I am friends with him for four straight years. I have seen his days and nights which were experiencing a jolt of ups and downs. I have seen the days when he comes to me with spark in his eyes, radiating enthusiastic pheromones which always dictates his word of joys scribbled on hundreds of pages. I have seen the days when he comes to me with utter most chaos. In those days, he has problem forming sentences. He doesn’t even give monosyllabic answers. At first, I was unable to think what is wrong with him but I understood later, these are his days of doom. Those days are most scary because it seems life has creeped out of him. He is nothing but a dead body who has frozen sitting posture, staring absently out of the window whose glass is left unclean. Everyday, he is a new challenge. My friends would always say,...
I tried imagining a day

I tried imagining a day

I tried imagining a day when I’d wake up to the ringing of my alarm clock at 6 in the morning and I’d no more have to hunt for my phone and pull it out from below the pillow finally and type ” Thank you for putting me to sleep last night ” and text it to you . And as soon as my focal length would adjust to the screaming sunlight , that photo frame on which you once wrote a song for me wouldn’t be there on the table beside my bed and I would no more recite those lines in my head and memorising those words wouldn’t be as easy as knowing all the words from an old favourite song .  Dragging myself out of the bed , I’d decide to take a walk around the town and stepping down that narrow oft-trodden way , I’d  find my feet following the path to the highest rock there , from where I could look down to see the silver brooke singing my homecoming and the woodpecker knocking the pines with their beaks maybe asking them how come I was alone that day and the pines would reply in a secret silence  . I’d sit there , my back facing the sun with ” To kill a mockingbird ” and after reading for an hour or so , I wouldn’t feel your gaze on my face like I once did . I’d no more have to hold back the scarlet on my cheeks and give you a quizzical look . ” Your dreams are going to come true...
An Enigma

An Enigma

“hey shabanam, tell me truly! You would like to complete my work naa!!”  “oh my dear sameer, will you please tell me a single reason, why I would like to do your work?? “ ” well its very genuine that you and me both know the answer of this question, then also I must tell you, IT’S BCOZ YOU LOVE ME” Hearing these words from sameer ‘s mouth was really shocking for her. Completing the incomplete word of a dear friend does mean a thing like that?? Thinking this she was actually hiding her emotions but in the fathom of her heart she needed an answer!! How did he come to know about his real condition even if she had not left a sparkle of doubt for him, even if she had not shown him her loving emotions.  All that happened in few seconds when she first saw him that an ugly looking, moustache less boys photo was pasted in her hand and she like a normal wind started moving towards him. Knowingly or unknowingly she was in love with him. But soon did she herself realised that she was moving towards a wrong way. It was against the law created by hr own.  It is said that “karo whi jo dil khe, magar dil keh rha tha ki pyaar kar  onse again she became a bird of the world of literature, her eyes got thin shine black. But love is of many types!! some love by face, some due to grace, and some by partners maal..!! and the maal was enough with sameer. So he was loved by...