Weren’t we just friends?

Weren’t we just friends?

 

 

 

Life is very simple, the less you bother the more happy you are, the more you answer the more questions are bombarded at you. And then, here I come with exactly an opposite attitude. Attitude I possessed was more about responding people, getting affected by the sharp words thrown at me and certainly picking up fights, more or equally like a thug. She is more about the smiling face always, getting angry at certain things, and no doubt the best women I have had met so far. Did this ever happen to you that, when you truly loved someone you were ignored to an higher extent. Well, that’s how my experience goes. I was much of a stud than as a descent fellow any girl would want to go with. I had sort of ‘Don’t bother’ attitude which made me never fell for anyone so easily. Tables were changed one such day, I met a beauty, Yes, I was as sure as anything, that I am totally flattened by her personality, she stood out of the world, her thinking was clearly out of the box, with her long hairs and one of the best smile in the world she shot me down with an arrow that devastated the world of mine. Everytime she smirked, I wondered, how could the god be such an excellent artist. If, taken my opinion, I shall rate her to be the best creature of god ever made. Oceans to me were the best god made thing on planet, until she proved me wrong, her smile was actually. She arrived in my life with wonderful surprises, the doors for all the girls were shut except one, she. My ‘Never Bother’ attitude was altered with following her, talking to her constantly, always letting her know how desperate I was of watching her smirking, even if it wanted me to be a joker. Every time I questioned my evil fellow heart that what is that one thing which will make you stand apart from the crowd following her. It answered ‘None’ and silence emerged. If god was writing a destiny, why to put such superstitious things in my path? Was I being superstitious that day, when I thought I will be called her guy. That’s where you end up realising nightmares are meant to destroy your sleep. Every love story has a start, but endings are quite hurting. Some of them succeed while most have become more about getting into depression You could never expect anything from anyone. Initially our story had wonderful start, I fell for her, I followed her everywhere she went, Initially our story had a wonderful start, I fell for her, I followed her everywhere she went, I called her my girlfriend while she called just a friend. I laid my heart out for her and she called me friend again. This is how it goes. She started liking me, as she said one day. And then the happiness around me was beyond the control. I wondered that, this fat grumpy fellow has actually grabbed liking. I no longer will stay single and happily get teased from my friends by her name. I was happy to be changed, never know that temporary happiness would be my sole reason to never ever love someone back. We spent most of time talking on phone and met everyday. Life was on full throttle. She appreciated me to every point of life, she encouraged me to follow my dreams and not follow her. Little did this mad women knew, I loved her more than my dreams, I loved her with all the core feeling hidden inside me. I wished she said “I will stay by your side always”. But she refused to say, she refused to call her mine. She did like me, but was the liking enough to equalise my love for her? Did she knew that every harm caused to her would be cause a pain to me as well?. That’s how your true love is answered. Maybe thousand slaps wouldn’t cause such pain that pain I took it by smiling everytime she was mad at me. Things weren’t well between us, one such day I received a text message, that “Forget me, I am getting out of your life and I shall never ever come back in your world”. My world was upside down, I wanted someone to tell her that “whom are you leaving? You’re my world, how could you leave yourself?”. Thanks to my hundreds of texts regularly which were ignored quite easily. I was happy that she has stopped, I kept hoping things would get better with time. But things states getting worse. As the time went ahead, I cried in every corner of room for her changed behaviour, cursed myself for letting a beast enter her mind against me. I kept saying “Baby please come back”. With no surprise , she ignored, Told her sorry hundred of times, but would the world tell me what have I done? Why I have to shed my tears always everytime I missed her? Was it love? Or was I acting? What was the fault that I kept saying sorry?. Fault was that I loved someone even more than I loved myself. She started hating me, we were friends again but the smile I used to bring on her face was no more the same. She kept hitting me with anger, attitude, ego. I am glad, I never did such things with her, would this all be enough to throw me away?. I wished a positivity emerges out of somewhere and make things Alright. But, wishes are either tossed into thrash or somehow become true. Such was mine case, the guy who never loved anyone, was all down for her. Nights were spent by crying, days were spent in the thoughts of her coming back. Loneliness took a tol on my life. I wish there was a sensor which would sense the love I had for her and the pain she had caused me now. Wished that sensor would allow her to understand what I was going through. She regained her self esteem which was lost in her previous relationship. Wasn’t I becoming more of selfish, thinking all about me? I realised what she was going through. Who would want to trust on love again when love itself had become a choking to her breathing in her previous relation. I wanted to smack the bastard who has cause this harm to her. That bastard could have known, guys would laid their life out for her before hurting her. I wanted to punch him right on his face. But, all the aspirations were kept aside and I decided to start a new life, I didn’t want to change, she made me this and I could sense every feeling of her to make me this way. I certainly didn’t want to efforts to go in vain. I decided to moveon, initially her hating for me dis raise plenty questions, all of them had similar meaning, just why?. She left, I lost all my contact with her, I bet she must be happy since she was doing what she loved. I was never loved by someone other than my parents. When you try to move on over your liking you realise how tough the life is and certainly want to put an end to life, so did I. If I had enough gutts, I would have done that way back longer. Embarrassed to think like that, I wouldn’t want my mother to cry for me. Yes, I loved a lady but more than her I loved my mother. I was back on the track of pursuing a better career. Everything which starts has its own ending, so did my love for her. That’s how the life goes, I made an understanding that I will never ever prioritise anyone. As the sun rises and then sets. That’s exactly how relations are supposed to be. One such day she says, ‘yes’ and another such day she leaves you. So the happiness you witnesses has to be made equal to the crying. That’s how the life is balanced. If the life kicks you make sure you stand up and deliver the strongest punch ever which will demoralise the all the hurt around you. Yes, I did have a story to tell about, not sure If I ever love someone this way but would never ever make someone my world, as the world has to end someday.

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Akash Dhanurkar
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